It is coming
up to that time of year when I have increased contact with another generation
of younger people. One thing that has struck me over the past few years is how
many individuals (and not just those younger than myself!) cannot distinguish between what they want and
what they can have. Stop for a moment and think about that and you will realize
this is the root of so many conflicts between individuals and within yourself.
Often trying
to have what you desire hurts others. If you cannot have what you want then
another option is to be happy with what you can get. Well, perhaps “accept” is
a more practical goal than “happy”. What cannot be cured, must be endured. There are some things in my life I accepted
long ago and they do not bother me while the same things are a source of worry
to others. My girlfriend was laughing at a friend of hers whose hair was
thinning. I glanced upwards at my own long bare pate and raised an eyebrow. “You
being bald does not matter” she explained “you are cool with it and don’t let
it bother you so it is nothing on you”. There are, of course, other aspects of
my life I apparently cannot change and I have not yet been able to accept, so I
am making more of an effort to work on that.
Recently I
saw a program that included a section on meditation, in particular mindfulness
meditation. It seems that scientific studies have indicated changes in brain
mechanism resulting from practice of meditation and it has proved to be have a positive
effect in a number of situations and institutions. Many of you, like me, may
have assumed that meditation involves letting your mind go blank, which is a
very difficult if not impossible for most of use. What in particular struck me in
this program was a comment that made it clear that “clear your mind” was a
constant and dynamic process during meditation. It is inevitable that thoughts
will pop-up in your head. The trick was to not dwell on them and dismiss them
until an appropriate time. This reminded me of a friend of mine who used to
seem to go out of his way to think about his problems and used to torture
himself something rotten as a result. We all know that is can be a good policy to distract
yourself when you have something on your mind, and for major problems such as
grief from the lost of a loved one I know that sleeping as much as possible is
often the best medicine. One of the things Mindfulness Mediation seems to teach
is the ability to discipline your thoughts and dismiss those that are not at
that time relevant.
Possibly the
most accessible form of mindfulness mediation is sitting meditation. Just sit,
concentrating on a single thing, such as your breathing and practice dismissing
any other thoughts and ignoring any external distractions. No need for a
special outfit, scented candles, CD of whale noises or anything else. One thing
I have noticed recently is that I have found my exercising (mentally) quite
relaxing. My mind has just been concentrating on each movement and dismissing
anything else that pops into my head at that moment. Tai Chi, of course, is
often described as “mediation in movement” and we can see a similar process
here. I was quite interested to learn there was also such a thing as mindfulness
meditation while walking. Rather than concentrate on each breath you
concentrate on each step, and the sensations it brings. You can, of course,
advance to concentrating on both your steps and breathing. From a self-defence point of view walking anywhere without paying attention to your surroundings is
a bad move so walking meditation has the potential to become even more advanced
while you concentrate on a number of things while eliminating unnecessary
thoughts.
Something to
research further and experiment with.