“I’m
a very forthright person. If I think something I say it”
Several
times I have heard that, usually being said by a young woman who seems to
regard it as a virtue. If there is one thing that I have learnt over my many
years it is the virtue of knowing when to hold my tongue. If I spoke my mind
every time a though popped into my head I would doubtless have been in more
fights, been fired several times and most certainly still very single!
Recently
I wrote some observations about placatory behaviour. This doesn’t mean you go
through life as a doormat, just that you expand your range of options. Quite
frankly, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. There are times to tell
someone that they are an unreasonable jerk, and there are times to bite back
that comment, force yourself to smile and assure the jerk that you appreciate
how busy they are and how they are going out of their way to do their job….
If
you wish, think of it as verbal or social judo. You end up getting what you
wanted, but no one gets hurt or upset. They may even think it was their idea.
This is the true art of fighting without fighting.
